Sex Object

“We say 'misogynist'; I've written that 'misogyny kills,' but the world falls flat on your tongue - it's too academic sounding, not raw or horrifying enough to relay the truth of what it means."

In her book Sex Object, Valenti tells a story women know all too well about existing to satisfy the male gaze first and as human beings second. She asks: "What is crazy about killing women in a culture that tells you that women's lives are worth nothing?" This book offers little positivity about the state of today's culture, where on a daily basis, women realize that public spaces are not for them.

Valenti makes clear that while we have made progress legislatively for gender equality, we have a long way to go culturally. She does this by accounting several personal anecdotes, which are sometimes relatable and sometimes not. Sex Object is one woman’s story, and Valenti does not presume to universalize because the way women experience sexism is individualized and dependent on various identities and privileges.

She asks another daunting question: "What do we lose when we grow up believing sexual objectification is normal, unremarkable and expected?". The answer for many women is a lot. As a society, we perpetuate and tolerate a range of attitudes and behaviors that actively circumscribe the lives of girls and women. So much so, in fact, that pink ghettos and women's shelters are the result.

The main point of this book is that women do not exist for male consumption and enjoyment. All of the injustices Valenti describes stem from the belief that this is a man's world and women are just along for the ride. They stem from the belief that men are the basis for measuring humanity. They stem from the belief that women are the second sex.

Looking forward, we must teach boys how to reject cultural messages that perpetuate toxic masculinity and female inferiority not just to enhance the lives of women and girls, but also the lives of boys and men. To do this, we need to rebrand feminism because to say it has a bad rap is an understatement.